Happiness can feel in short supply, but it doesn’t need to be. Here are 7 things you have control over when it comes to your happiness.
#1 Consumer Debt
Debt is stressful and exists primarily to make you miserable while making someone else rich.
Stop. Just stop.
Stop using your credit card irresponsibly. What does irresponsibly mean?
- Carrying a balance that’s not pay-off-able each month.
- Using it for impulse purchases
- To get you to your next paycheck
It’s possible to get out from under your creditor’s thumb(s). Have the courage to take your credit cards out of your wallet and erase their numbers from your online shopping accounts. Take this as a sign: you can get out of debt; start now. Right now!
“You can’t be in debt and win. It doesn’t work.”
—Dave Ramsey
#2 Shirking Personal Responsibility
You’ve been through the wringer, no doubt. People have hurt you and disappointed you and left you feeling unstable. It’s hard and no one is denying your right to your pain. And you still are the only one who can change your life. You are still the only one who can start the healing process. You are always the only one who gets to decide when to move on and move up in your life. So take responsibility for your end of things and feel and embrace the power that comes from that responsibility!
“Character—the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.”
—Joan Didion
#3 Postponing Important Things
Stop overcomplicating things! You’re probably as ready right now as you will ever be. And from my experience, by the time you are ready to make bold moves, it’s too late. So, just get started. Put one foot in front of the other and get going. Baby steps are fine, in fact, they are infinitely better than waiting for some imaginary future where an imaginary version of you will feel the imaginary emotion of “ready”.
“While we are postponing, life speeds by.”
—Lucius Annaeus Seneca
#4 Refusing to Forgive
Let’s make a couple of things profoundly clear:
- Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation
- Forgiveness does not equate to excusing bad/hurtful behavior
Forgiveness is merely letting go of pain and resentment in order to embrace healing and release. As the saying goes, “denying forgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” You are most likely only hurting yourself.
And, did you know that grudges take a physical toll on your body. Grudges make you tenser, which can lead to sore muscles. They increase your chances of developing ulcers. They increase the likelihood of developing/increasing the frequency and intensity of migraines.
Not to mention, they make it impossible to move on with your life. It’s not worth it. Learn to let go. Learn to forgive.
“Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
—Lewis B. Smedes
#5 Not Budgeting Your Time
Life requires concentration to do it right. And concentration is a finite resource most days. So, help yourself out and budget your time. This is also known as a schedule. But do more than just write in your meetings. Think holistically—make sure you budget in your family, friends, health, and sanity, and then add in your meetings.
The fastest way to make the things that “really count” into things that truly matter on a day-to-day and week-to-week basis is to put them on your calendar. After all, lives are lived day to day, week to week.
“The key is not to prioritize your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”
— Stephen R Covey
#6 Focusing on the Challenge Instead of the Solution
You are likely facing down a challenge right now. Whatever it is, you’ll do far more by focusing on the potential solutions and how to implement them than spending your precious time thinking about the problem itself.
“Complaining is finding faults, wisdom is finding solutions.”
—Ajahn Brahm
#7 Dwelling on the Past / Obsessing Over the Future
All you really have in this short life of yours is right now. Are you taking advantage of it? It’s far too easy to waste time dwelling on past mistakes, past victories, past what-ifs. And it’s far too easy to obsess and wonder over the future. Do the difficult thing, take this moment and start something, finish something, continue something—something real. Right now, do it right now.
“Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it. Feel it. Cling to it.”
—Sylvia Plath
Are you ready to take control of your happiness? Get on top of your personal, professional, financial, and emotional lives with the help that you need. Flourish First Life Coaching provides you with the tools you need to stop getting in the way of your own happiness.