Back in 2020, I read a book called Dream Big by Bob Goff. In that book, he told a story about how he learned not to panic while radioing into airport control towers while flying his plane.
While fumbling over his words to one impatient air traffic controller, Goff got a helpful tip in the form of, “Listen, all I need to know from you is, who you are, where you are, and what you want to do.”
This terse set of directions had a profound effect on Bob. He learned exactly what to say whenever he needed to talk to air traffic control, and he also saw the potential benefit of asking himself those exact questions from a deeply authentic place.
Question #1: Who are you?
Think beyond your name and occupation. Other ways to consider this question are:
- Who do you feel you are when you’re most confident? Most afraid?
- Do you operate from an expectation of scarcity or abundance? Why?
- Do you think you will n/ever be enough?
- Do you love life out of fake bravado or think you always have to be “on”?
- Who do you feel that you are when you’re most at peace or most exhilarated?
“Take some time to explore why you do what you do. It’s okay if this takes more than a few minutes, especially if you’re asking yourself these questions for the first time. Take as much time as you need to express what is real, honest, and true about you.”
Bob Goff
Dream Big, Chapter 4, pp. 21–25
Question #2: Where are you?
Think existentially, emotionally, or situationally (not so much geographically).
Are you confused about which major to choose? Do you feel stuck in your career but don’t know how to change it? Are you drowning in debt? Are you happy/unhappy in your marriage or other significant relationships?
Are you living from a place of immense gratitude? Fear? Confusion? Apathy? Clearly, this list could go on endlessly, but your gut knows the answers, even if your conscious self is trying to avoid answering it.
“Take some time to really, truly, and from a place of vulnerability describe exactly where you are mentally and emotionally and whatever other ‘ly’ you might be in. [And] be brutally honest and upfront with yourself; it doesn’t do to lie to yourself. It’s okay not to be too proud of your answer. It’s just a point of reference so you can get moving. [Then,] involve a trusted friend in this truth, tell them where you are. Someone else needs to know and understand.”
Bob Goff
Dream Big, Chapter 5, pp. 27–30
Question #3: What do you want to do?
I’ll turn directly to Bob for this bit.
“This whole process starts with this question. What do you want from your life right now, in the near future, the distant future? This list can be as long and as varied as you want it to be.
“This list will be as unique as you because it is, in a way, you and your dreams. It’s best to start from where you want to be morally and in your character and then work out from there. What does a person who is X do and surround themselves with?
“List everything, the profound, the silly, the whatever. Make the list long. You can tailor it more specifically later.”
Bob Goff
Dream Big, Chapter 6, pp. 31–37
Now use it over and over
I’m a big believer in the power of journaling, especially structured, thoughtful journaling, so this was right up my alley. When I read this, I was intrigued by the idea, so I sat down and dug into the questions. After writing pages on who I felt that I was and where I thought that I was and what I wanted to do, I decided the task of asking these three questions might be worth making into a weekly practice.
You’d be surprised at how drastically the answers to these questions can change within seven days.
Every week, I get the opportunity to sit down, open the same notebook, and pour onto its pages who I am, where I am, and what it is that I want to do most with my life right at that moment. And what’s more, I get to go back and read through past entries. It’s cathartic, it’s guiding, and it’s eye-opening.
I challenge you to try these questions out. Take the time to sit down and ask yourself who you are, where you are, and what you want to do. Then come back to these questions weekly. I journal my who, where, whats every Thursday evening. Choose a day and time that works for you and see how much you learn about yourself and how much clearer your path forward looks with the clarity these three questions bring.
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